Good grief, people

(Note: I'd planned to post this entry earlier this week but then there was an earthquake and now there's a hurricane or something...but make no mistake, this is stupid--KGM)
Let's get it out right now: there is no goddamn good reason for why the milk in a McDonald's Happy Meal should  be one-percent, low-fat milk. I call "shenanigans." See, at some point, McDonald's started offering fruit and milk choices for their Happy Meals. Unless you've spent the last 50 years under a rock, then you know that a classic McDonald's Happy Meal is a cheeseburger or hamburger, or chicken nuggets (4-piece), with a "child's size" soft drink, and child's size fries. Although weight-conscious adults (like me) might order the Happy Meal for themselves (because the Value Meals start at medium, and who the hell can actually eat a medium or large-size fries by themselves in one sitting...) but make no mistake: the Happy Meal is marketed towards kids, for kids. It comes with a toy, for God's sake. It is for children.
Anyway, now that everyone has to be all healthy and educational and junk all the time, McDonald's started changing up their Happy Meal rotation. You can get a soft drink or milk. You can get french fries or something apple slices with caramel sauce. You can also get an eating disorder or just really weird hang-ups about food at the tender age of preschool. Read on.
See, last night, I was packing my lunch for today. I found an unopened McDonald's Happy Meal milk jug in the refrigerator. It wasn't open, the sell-by date hadn't yet passed, and my nephew was not coming over in the next 24 hours, wondering where his milk went. So I took it to work. Lunchtime at work comes and I start drinking the milk. I look at the label-- all decked in nonsense about the new Smurfs movie. Smurfs aren't my thing but if the little tykes (and their nostalgia-ridden 30-something parents) love 'em, then who am I to question successful marketing tie-ins? Know what else I see on the label, next to Papa Smurf's fat blue backside? The words "one percent milk."
Yes. Really. Then I emailed my mother even though she's away and won't be answering emails for like, 10 more days. There was a lot of ranting. Are they freaking serious?! I don't know who's stupider-- the "dieticians" and marketers who thought this was a good idea, or McDonald's for kowtowing to this
nonsense. It's a Happy Meal. For kids. If you want to offer non-soda options that's fine (although it's freaking McDonald's-- why are you eating there if you want non-junk food?) but don't mess the kid's nutrition up even more by giving them only low-fat milk. Jesus. You have non-fat milk at freaking McDonald's on one hand, and then you have one of my friends, who, when I grabbed a carton of lowfat Lactaid off the shelf, whose label was turned away, asked me, "wait, do they have the regular Lactaid? Otherwise, when [her daughter] is in middle school in like 2019 and doesn't know fractions, I'll have to tell her it's because her aunt Kate bought the non-fat Lactaid that one time."

Lowfat (ONE PERCENT!!! Not even two percent!) milk in a Happy Meal. Jesus.